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Below, I've listed the title of any given zine or collage from my zines page followed by the transcript text for that piece.
BackThe cover page of this eight-page mini zine. Across the top of the zine is tht title: 'PROP 36 “The Prison Spending Scam”'. Right below the title is the text “¡este zine es es de doble cara! desdóblalo y vuélvelo a doblar para leer la versión en español”. Below that is a some lineart of barbed wire fence on the perimeter of a jail, with a lookout tower that has the words 'Made by Xalli & Ada' on the body of it. This page is the only page in the zine with an image on it-- the rest is text only.
The first page says “California prisons have long been overcrowded. According to the Prison Policy Initiative, “it locks up a higher percentage of its people than almost any democratic country on earth,” and does so with heavy racial bias. While these issues are ever present, we have seen gradual progress over the last decade. This election, California voters will be presented with a proposal that could greatly intensify this problem: Prop 36.” The second page says “Since 2014's Prop 47, non-violent theft (under $950) and drug-possession charges have been classified as misdemeanors-- a decision made largely to address prison overcrowding and ensure prison spending focused mainly on violent and serious offenses. The reforms made by Prop 47 have been successful in decreasing incarceration and recidivism rates, as well as homelessness and unemployment (Catalyst California).”
The third page says “Of course, Prop 47 has had plenty of opponents. Many argue that it has increased property crime. Prop 36 aims to address this, and will essentially undo Prop 47. If passed, drug possession and petty theft will be tried as felonies if the defendant has at least two prior convictions. The problem is that this bill will entirely fail to address crime rates. According to the National Institute of Justice, harsher prison sentencing does very little to reduce crime, and can actually increase it.” The fourth page says “Prop 36 would likely cost our justice system a lot of money. According to the California Legislative Analysis Office, the costs could range ”from several tens of millions of dollars to the low hundreds of millions of dollars each year,” caused by both increased prison population and court workflow. Much of this money will be cut from mental health, substance abuse, and trauma recovery treatment, and from public school funding (ACLU). The incredibly high cost this bill could incur is not worth it simply to incarcerate people, with next to no positive end.”
The fifth page says “This act is the last of the state-wide propositions on the ballot this year. With so many of them, it can be easy to get tired, or just lost, and fail to truly comprehend the gravity of the later measures. This proposition, however, could have significant effects on our criminal justice system. It is incredibly important that our voters stay informed and vote no on Prop 36.” The sixth page is simply a list of sources, titled “FURTHER READINGS / SOURCES:”. The sources are as follows: “voterguide.sos.ca.gov/propositions/36/index.htm”, “prisonpolicy.org/profiles/CA.html”, “johndrogerslaw.com/californias-prison-overcrowding-crisis/”, “catalystcalifornia.org/blog/vote-no-proposition-36-stop-prison-spending-scam”, “ojp.gov/pdffiles1/nij/247350.pdf”, “stopprop36.com/background”, and “aclunc.org/no-prop-36-tools-and-resources”.
The back cover simply says “VOTE NO ON PROP 36”.
La portada de esta mini revista de ocho páginas. En la parte superior de la revista aparece el título: 'PROP 36 “La Estafa de Gastos Penetenciarios”'. Justo debajo del título está el texto “this zine is double sided! unfold it and refold it to read the version in english!”. Debajo hay un dibujo lineal de una cerca de alambre de púas en el perímetro de una cárcel, con una torre de vigilancia que tiene las palabras “Hecho por Xalli y Ada” en el cuerpo. Esta página es la única página del zine que tiene una imagen; el resto es solo texto.
La primera página dice “CHace mucho tiempo, las prisiones de Calfornia han estado superpobladas. Según el Prison Policy Initiative, “encierra un percontaje mayor de su población que casi cualquier país democrático en el mundo,” y lo hace con un fuerte sesgo racial. Aunque estos problemas siguen presentes, hemos visto un progreso gradual en la última década. En esta elección, los votantes de California se enfrentarán a una propuesta que podría intensificar gravemente este problema: la Proposición 36.” La segunda página dice “Desde la Proposición 47 del 2014, los robos no violentos (de menos de $950) y los cargos de posesión de drogas han sido calificados como faltas-- una decisión hecha principalmente para abordar el hacinamiento en las cárceles y asegurar el gasto penitenciario enfocado principalmente en delitos violentos y graves. Las reformas hechas por la Proposición 47 han tenido éxito en disminuir las tasas de encarcelamiento y de reincidencia, así como las tasas de personas sin hogar y desempleo (Catalyst California).”
La tercera página dice “Por supuesto, la Proposición 47 ha tenido muchos opositores. Muchos argumentan que ha aumentado los delitos contra la propiedad. La Proposición 36 busca abordar esto y, en esencia, revertirá la Proposición 47. Si se aprueba, la posesión de drogas y el hurto menor se juzgarán como delitos graves si el acusado tiene al menos dos condenas previas. El problema es que este proyecto de ley no logrará reducir las tasas de criminalidad. Según el National Institute of Justice, las sentencias más severas de prisión hacen muy poco para reducir el crimen, y de hecho, pueden aumentar su incidencia.” La cuarta página dice “La Proposición 36 probablemente le costaría mucho dinero a nuestro sistema de justicia. Según la Oficina de Análisis Legislativo de California, los costos podrían ir “desde varias decenas de millones dólares hasta los bajos cientos de millones de dólares cada año,” debido tanto a el aumento de la población carcelaria como el flujo de trabajo de los tribunales. Gran parte de este dinero se tomará de tratamiento de salud mental, abuso de sustancias y recuperación de traumas, y de los fondos del sistema de escuelas públicas (ACLU). El costo bien alto que podría tener este proyecto de ley no vale la pena solo para encarcelar más gente, casi sin fines positivos.”
La quinta página dice “Este acto es la última de las proposiciones a nivel estatal en la boleta este año. Con tantas de ellas, puede ser fácil cansarse o simplemente perderse y no llegar a comprender realmente la gravedad de las últimas medidas. Sin embargo, esta proposición podría tener efectos significativos en nuestra sistema de justicia penal. Es increíblemente importante que nosotros votantes se mantengan informados y voten no a la Proposición 36.” La sexta página es simplemente una lista de fuentes, titulada “LECTURAS ADICIONALES / FUENTES:”. Las fuentes son las siguientes: “voterguide.sos.ca.gov/propositions/36/index.htm”, “prisonpolicy.org/profiles/CA.html”, “johndrogerslaw.com/californias-prison-overcrowding-crisis/”, “catalystcalifornia.org/blog/vote-no-proposition-36-stop-prison-spending-scam”, “ojp.gov/pdffiles1/nij/247350.pdf”, “stopprop36.com/background”, y “aclunc.org/no-prop-36-tools-and-resources”.
The back cover simply says “VOTE NO ON PROP 36”.
The cover page of this eight-page mini zine. Across the top of the zine is tht title: 'PROP 34 & WHY IT ISN'T HERE TO HELP US'. Below that is a drawing of an orange-toned manila with paperclips, and the words 'MADE BY XALLI & ADA', and below that, a little bit of text that says “¡este zine es es de doble cara! desdóblalo y vuélvelo a doblar para leer la versión en español”. This page is the only page in the zine with an image on it-- the rest is text only.
The first page says “Of all the ballot measures proposed to California voters this year, Prop 34 is one of the least conspicuous. The purpose of this zine is to educate voters on the bill and present an argument against it.” The second page says “Since 1992, certain healthcare organizations in the US have been able to buy medicine at lowered prices and sell them with a markup in order to raise funds. Essentially, Prop. 34 will make it so that some of these organizations have to spend 98% of these funds on direct patient care. Sounds reasonable, right?”
The third page says “In reality, Prop. 34 will work against Californian patients if put into effect. We often think of healthcare organizations as having the sole purpose of providing direct care, but that’s not always the case. They might, for example, lobby for laws that would benefit their patients and help attain the public health goals they strive for. This lobbying is exactly what this law is trying to stop.” The fourth page says “To illustrate this, let’s talk about Prop 33. Also up for a vote this cycle, it’s an act that would make it significantly easier for local governments to put rent control in place. Its main backer was the AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), which has historically funded affordable housing and backed rent control laws in the past. This work is in line with their public health goals. Prop 34 is directly intended to target the AHF. In fact, its criteria seem to only apply to that organization.”
The fifth page says “This should make it clear why the largest supporter of Prop 34 is the California Apartment Association, why it has been nicknamed “the revenge initiative,” and why it’s garnered so much opposition. This measure is often passed off as something meant to address patient abuse and corporate greed, and those things are important to target, but Prop 34 fails to do so. All it really does is bar the AHF from advocating for rent control.” The sixth page is simply a list of sources, titled “FURTHER READINGS / SOURCES:”. The sources are as follows: “https://voterguide.sos.ca.gov/propositions/34/index.htm”, “https://www.noon34.org/”, “https://laist.com/brief/news/politics/behind-the-scenes-battles-prop-34”, and “https://www.mercurynews.com/2024/10/05/proposition-34-a-political-oddity-takes-aim-at-nonprofit-funding-rent-control-measure/”.
La contraportada simplemente dice “VOTA NO A LA PROPUESTA 36”.
La portada de esta mini revista de ocho páginas. En la parte superior del zine está el título: 'PROP 34 Y POR QUÉ NO ESTÁ AQUI PARA AYUDARNOS'. Debajo hay un dibujo de una manila en tonos naranjas con clips y las palabras 'HECHO POR XALLI & ADA', y debajo de eso, un poco de texto que dice “this zine is double-sided! unfold & re-fold it in order to read the English version”. Esta página es la única página del zine que tiene una imagen; el resto es solo texto.
La primera página dice “De todas las proposiciones de ley presentadas a los votantes de California este año, la Proposición 34 es una de las menos llamativas. El objectivo de este zine es informar a los votantes sobre el proyecto de ley y presentar un argumento en su contra.” La segunda página dice “Desde 1992, ciertas organizaciones de salud en EE. UU. han podido comprar medicamentos a precios reducidos y venderlos con un margen de ganancia para recaudar fondos. En esencia, la Proposición 34 obligará a algunas de estas organizaciones a destinar el 98% de esos fondos al cuidado directo de los pacientes. Suena razonable, ¿verdad?”
La tercera página dice “En la práctica, la Proposición 34 perjudicará a los pacientes de California si entra en vigor. A menudo pensamos en las organizaciones de salud como instituciones dedicadas exclusivamente a brindar atención directa, pero ese no es siempre el caso. Algunas, por ejemplo, también luchan por leyes que beneficien a sus pacientes y a los objetivos de salud pública que persiguen. Precisamente, esa labor de presión política es lo que esta ley pretende detener.” La cuarta página dice “Para ilustrarlo, hablemos de la Proposición 33. También está en votación este ciclo y es una ley que facilitaría a los gobiernos locales la implementación de controles de renta. Su principal patrocinador es la Fundación para el Cuidado de Personas con SIDA (AHF, por sus siglas en inglés), que históricamente ha financiado viviendas asequibles y apoyado leyes de control de rentas. Este trabajo está en plena sintonía con sus objetivos de salud pública. La Proposición 34 está diseñada específicamente para afectar a la AHF. De hecho, sus criterios parecen aplicarse solo a esta organización.”
La quinta página dice “Esto debería dejar claro por qué el mayor defensor de la Proposición 34 es la Asociación de Apartamentos de California, por qué se la ha apodado “la iniciativa de venganza” y por qué ha generado tanta oposición. A menudo se presenta esta medida como algo destinado a combatir el abuso a los pacientes y la codicia corporativa, y esos son problemas importantes a resolver, pero la Propuesta 34 no lo logra. En realidad, lo único que hace es impedir que la AHF apoye el control de rentas.” La sexta página es simplemente una lista de fuentes, titulada “LECTURAS ADICIONALES / FUENTES:”. Las fuentes son las siguientes: “https://voterguide.sos.ca.gov/propositions/34/index.htm”, “https://www.noon34.org/”, “https://laist.com/brief/news/politics/behind-the-scenes-battles-prop-34”, y “https://www.mercurynews.com/2024/10/05/proposition-34-a-political-oddity-takes-aim-at-nonprofit-funding-rent-control-measure/”.
La contraportada simplemente dice “VOTA NO A LA PROP 34”.
The cover page of this eight-page mini zine has a watercolor painting of an anatomical heart in the background, painted with a mix of different reds and lineart done in black, brown, and white. The letters I, W, A, N, T, and an exclamation mark are in front of the heart, spelling the title I WANT!
The first page has a black background, with the dissected nervous system of Harriet Cole centered in the middle. The following text in white wraps around it: ‘TO FEEL MORE ALIVE THAN THIS! LESS ALIVE? TO WAKE UP-- COOL, DRY DESERT AIR ON MY SKIN-- & BREATHE IN ITS BLESSING & KNOW ITS GOODNESS. FOR MY BODY TO BE FREE OF THE FEAR THAT CAGES IT-- KEEPS ITS COLLAR ON TIGHT & MAKES THE SKIN RAWER & REDDER EACH DAY. I NEED TO KNOW & LOVE MY BODY DEEPLY. MY GUT CANNOT JUST FALL APART, TEARING ITSELF ASUNDER WITH HUNGER WHEN MY STRESS EMPTIES IT. WHEN MY HEART IS SO WEARY MY BODY FEELS IT HAS NO CHOICE-- STOP OR BE STOPPED. WHEN I THINK IT MUST BE TAKING ITSELF APART, WITH ALL ITS PAIN. I NEED A MORE CONNECTED SELF. I MUST LIVE FULLY.’
The second page has a white background and is covered in photos of different colored pressed flowers– one pink, one purple, one light yellow and purple, one dark blue and white, one yellow, and two orange. laid over the flowers, mostly filling the space between them, is the text ‘TO BLOOM IN THIS BODY, OR MAYBE JUST FIND SOME SOLACE IN IT-- THE OLD ATLAS-- EVEN IF I FEEL PINNED DOWN-- ABSORBING WHAT IT OFFERS AND GIVING PART OF MYSELF IN RETURN.’
The third page has a white background and, in the top right corner, an odd drawing of a pomegranate that’s sort of blooming still on the tree– its tough skin peeled back to reveal seeds. In the bottom left corner, there’s a sort of abstract and wavy drawing of a sun in pink and orange. The text on the page is a dark red/pink and squeezes between the two images, saying ‘to return to a more passionate state of living-- to be in love with everything around me. to feel my love hit me like a landslide– filling and overflowing. for it to settle, shift, change until it’s a part of me. maybe, to see the sun and smile; feel its heat on my cheeks, and know that i am a cup full of so much.’
The fourth page has a white background and, in the bottom right corner, two images. One is of a little statue of a small bull that is metal and colored turquoise in many spots titled ‘Toro bebé’ by Heriberto Juarez. On the right of it is an image of a sword with the blade pointing toward the top of the page. Filling the rest of the page is text in a dark teal-green color that says ‘to feel strong-- heavyset and sturdy like an old bull, like a creature who knows itself stronger than the hunter. to feel the blade on my skin and be unafraid. to feel like a mother bear, protector, calm & loving fiercely, prepared. to be a man who takes a sword in my hand and never uses it. a woman who holds you close & lets you be weak. to be strong.’
The fifth and sixth page are a single spread, most of which is taken up by the piece ‘Knight at the Crossroads’ by Victor Vasnetsov. It depicts a knight with a shield on his back and a long spear sitting on the back of a white horse that has its head bowed, both looking at a grave. Around the grave, there is an animal and human skull, other graves with crows or ravens on them, and a crow or raven flying. Grass extends into the distance, with more graves here and there, and the sky seems like it’s likely dawn. On either side of the painting, there are images of pressed flowers– one looking somewhat like pink lavender, and the other with several bunches of small flowers on a stem. The top of the page has a dark brown background that blends into the border around the painting, and a light yellow text on it that says the following: ‘to feel strong like a man heavy with grief, knowing he can only move forward. to be strong-- so soft, loving, despite it all. to breathe in the fragrance of a flower and feel at peace. to not need to be cold to survive. to feel at home in my body, self, world-- know that this is strength.’
The last page starts with just a list of credits at the top, saying ‘Credit for non-open access sources: 1. Nervous system of Harriet Cole, dissected by Dr. Rufus B. Weaver 2. “Toro bebé” Heriberto Juárez 3. “Knight at the Crossroads” Victor Vasnetsov.’ Underneath that, there’s a dotted line, and below that, the text ‘thanks so much for reading!’, ‘by Xalli’, and ‘jun 29, 2024’, and next to those is pixel art of a yellow crescent moon. Near the bottom of the page, there’s more pixel art of two personified hearts, leaning against each other and snoring, with little hearts floating away from them. Wrapped around this image is text that says tumblr: canineical’, ‘insta: saintpsyop’, and ‘neocities: tehuan’.
The cover page of this eight-page mini zine has a little cut out bat drawing from the Trader Joe's newsletters in the top/middle right area and an entry band for a show at a venue called The Smell along the bottom of it. To the left of the bat are the words 'FOLK PUNK' and between that and the entry band is the word 'INAUGURATION'. Thus, the name of this zine: Folk Punk Inauguration.
The first page has half of a hot pink entry band for The Smell on it. Above it, the page reads “I've gotta say, I've been skeptical of folk punk for a while, now. I feel pretty strongly that the culture of folk punk now is what traditional punk wished it was, but I was never too sure of the music. It felt a little too weird, and I'm a bit of a snob about voices sometimes (not on purpose, I promise) so I was just unsure. It’s been growing on me slowly, though – especially after a show this Tuesday.”
The second page starts “To be honest, the night started out sort of shit. I took the train and got harassed, and got there almost half an hour late, too. The energy inside changed everything right away, though. The crowd threw a billionaire skull piñata around and beat it up for toys, and everyone looked trans as fuck, and I knew I was in a good place. Moon Bandits, Rent Strike, and (of course) Sister Wife Sex Strike all played and fucked it up!” Below that, there's the text “(I can totally draw)” and, below that, an incredibly rudimentary stick figure drawing of a crowd of people looking up at two people on stage.
Page three starts with the phrase “Some HIGHLIGHTS”-- the 'Some' made out of two cut up words ('So' and 'me') from some book and 'HIGHLIGHTS' written in black Sharpie and highlighted with yellow highlighter. Below it is a bullet point list, which is also continue onto page four, that lists that “the pit was so fucking cool! great energy... so much joy and lots of two-stepping”, “the outfits... holy shit, do people know how to dress! so cool + creative”, “the aforementioned piñata - so silly + fun”, “when SWSS come down into the pit for ‘Electricity’”, “when the pit turned into a lot of people (including me) dancing with our partners during ‘Gentleness’”, “Rent Strike's song about hydraulic press videos”, and “the way the bands talked to us: so friendly & funny & felt like family (will come back to this one). Across the bottom of both pages is a sticker for Unity Skate Co. of two naked people, one colored in orange on the other's shoulders (and the other is colored in pink). Underneath the sticker across the right side of page four is a strip of Washi tape in dark blue, red, and black colors, with eyes and lips.
Page five has the word 'MERCH' written across the top left side of it with a squiggly line drawn underneath it. Next to it, starting on the right side of page five and going all through the top of page six is an orange sticker with the word 'QUEERS' in a black bold font with underlining. Page five starts out saying “A lot of the merch was sliding scale, and the vendors were so cool! I had to get stuff!” and then leads into a list of things I bought, including “Sister Wives Strike Back (Deluxe) CD”, “Rent Strike fox (?) on fire shirt”, “Moon Bandits ‘Squash Cops’ patch”, “Moon Bandits ‘Crocs not Cops’ sticker”, and “Moon Bandits 'Protect Trans Kids' Raccoon-filled sticker”. Under the 'QUEERS' sticker, page six simply states “Anyway, the show was amazing if you can’t tell. But there’s something more there, too. Getting to mosh + sing + scream and be happy + sad with other trans people – other nonwhite people too, oh my God – was so new + beautiful. It felt like family + home in such an unmistakable + necessary way. I’m so grateful.”
The back cover has a sharpie drawing in the top left of a weird fidget toy I got from the billionaire skull piñata that got thrown around during Moon Bandits' set, which is sort of a little orange handle and two (yellow and pink) weird extensions that are made of a ball and plastic legs that attach to the handle. The little extensions swing 360 degrees around the handle and can hit each other and make noise. Next to it is a little note that says “a weird fidget toy from the piñata” and has an arrow pointing to it. Underneath it is a drawn on dashed line and then text that says “by Xalli”, “apr 19, 2023”, and then notes that my social medias are “insta: desertfirelight”, “tumblr: canineical”, and “neocities: tehuan”. At the bottom of the page is a continuation of the entry wrist band that's on the cover and first page of the zine for The Smell. This part of the band mainly says 'EXIT' on it.
the cover of an 8-page zine, which says "you taught / teach me" across the front in big letters. 'you' is in block letters, 'taught / teach' is in cursive, and 'me' is in my own weird handwriting! along the complete bottom is some washi tape of eyes & lips, with dark red & blue & yellow colors. slightly above it, on the right side, there's a used yellow butterfly stamp!
the first page starts with "you taught me how to love— with every letter a pressed flower art project ‘OUROBOROS’ exclamation, with every playlist a series of the torso. you say "I love you a whole lot" like someone full of love and I feel it all. you are a world of exploration + sensation, and have taught me to pay attention. I think you must have more nerve endings than the rest of us. I think there must be something that makes you so beautifully in touch with a world I've barely begun to imagine. if there’s not, I don't know how someone would have a heart so sweet— a fruit cracked open in my palm for sharing." along the right side of the page is the cut off left hand of a woman & a bird that continues over to the second page, which is mostly taken up by a cut out of a painting of a woman in a dress and with a flower crown in her hair sitting in a garden. it's warm toned with a purple background, and a little 'bird' has been cut out and placed underneath her arm. in the top left corner of this page, there are the words "you flutter like a bird in the heart" and then lots of little lines to fill up space.
across the top of both pages three and four, there's a cut out line from a book that says "I said that even if he wanted to be a poet he had to prepare himself to be a poet. So then I said to him what I've never said before. I said: 'I love you, [].'" above that, there's some little lines drawn in black pen to fill the space. page three continues, "we talk too little, yet you're present in my heart like I've always heard from you just a moment ago. my heart flushes when you cross my mind, like the cheeks of a six year old in love. I think they can love, don't you? my heart knows. you would be someone to know it. sensations like these can be so overwhelming, but they're so beautiful, too." in the bottom left corner, there's a little used stamp of a red and blue bird with black & white on its face, and the writing wraps around it. next to the cut up line from the book at the top of page four, there are stickers of two koi fish— one yellow and one orange/red. the page continues to read "we've known each other so long now, I don't know what to think. it feels unreal, and I'm so grateful. time is one of those gifts that's now or never. I'm thinking of a song that goes 'I wish I found you sooner / I could've loved you longer' + feeling grateful for our youth + our time together. it's funny that I know so inherently you'll never fully leave my life. I think we must be tied in some way that the universe won't allow us to, though I don't know what way. I should thank 'the way'."
across the bottom of most of page five and all of page six, there's a cut out of a photo of a castle's front in a sort of sepia-toned black and white. in the top right corner of the fifth page, there's a used stamp of a few green & red chili peppers, and in the bottom left, there's a little sticker of a vine. the page reads "it's spring as I write this, a time I know you have odd [not mixed] feelings about. thank you for sharing them with me. your love of rebirth + cycles has infested me— made its own little nest-- and is a welcome guest. I love the spring + its new growth + the awful allergies it brings. I love the sun that comes with it." above the castle on the right side of page six, there's a little sticker of a flowering fruit. the text on that page reads "rebirth is our middle name! it's what we're all about. you + I are ever-changing, in ourselves + how we connect, and yet so cyclical. I love you the same + more + different each year. thank you for being you with me each year. I love every letter written on sheet music + every sporadic text. you're an everlasting spring."
the back cover of the book says "this was long, and I love you deeply. hello & thank you to any secondary audiences. until the morning, xalli | apr 1, 2024 | for cal/baz/ferris/any future names" with a little cutout of a piece of colorful dragon art and then a holographic sticker of sanrio's cinnamoroll being kissed on the cheek by a sheep! along the bottom is some washi tape of eyes & lips, with dark red & blue colors.
A zine in an 8-page layout.
The first page has "FOR [to] REID" written in large letters in the middle of the page. The 'O' and 'D' have cropped sections of Reid Gorecki's art pieces inside of them.
The second page has no images. The text is in Courier font, as is the rest of the zine, and says that "People are mosaics of everyone that surrounds them-- those close to them, those acquaintances with them, and those in community with them in any way, really, even if they've never interacted. When we are ourselves, we are in part each other, so to lose you, Reid, is to lose your past, lose your future, and lose who we were and will have to be without you-- regardless of whether we knew you well or at all." There is a paragraph break, and then it continues: "I cannot imagine what it’d be like to be so close to you and have lost you now, even as I walk through the halls and see how distant friends and acquaintances and strangers have, and as I imagine how your family has, too."
The third page has two photos of Reid. One is long one and spans the bottom of the page-- in it, he has a mask on and puts two firsts out in front of him. The other is small and on top of the long one, but to the right of the page, and in it, he smiles widely with his eyes shut, the bright blue sky filling the frame behind them. Text wraps around these two images, and goes on to say that: "I do know, though, that I have felt so much, so strongly just from hearing others speak of their love for you-- how you smiled & laughed and were kind & gentle & calm, and how you changed their lives. It breaks my heart that I have only heard these things now that you cannot hear them, too.
The fourth page has one image of a charcoal piece of Reid's in which two people dump a baby out of a bath, the water in blue pastel-- the only thing colored-- and running with the baby. The image is aligned to the bottom right of the page. To the left of it, a sideways piece of text in white with a black highlight states the title and source: "dontthrowdahbabyoutwithbathwater (detail)". Above this all, there is more text that says "I first saw a link to your website on the Instagram story of a friend of yours. I looked through and fell in love with it all-- the emotion and obviously honed technique and weathered, honest characters. This was one of my favorites:".
The fifth page has three pieces of Reid's art stacked along the bottom of the page. One is a sketchbook spread-- bright and colorful on one side and black and white on the other, another is a very neon and high contrast painting depicting five people and what seems to be the sun in the corner, and the last is a sort of bronze-colored sculpture with many wrinkles or otherwise wavy linework. Above these all is text that says "You were so incredibly talented and creative, and deserve endless awe & admiration for it."
The sixth page is all text and states that "I think often about all the systems that fail us, and your death brings me back to those thoughts. At the moment, "I don't know" how you died, the same way "no one knows" who of our peers died yet, but I do know that you were failed." A new paragraph starts and the text continues, "I think of how drug education now is a lot like how sex education was for so long-- just advocating abstinence and fear mongering, showing us videos of vapes blowing up. I think of how we aren't taught that mental-emotional addiction can happen even if the substance isn't addictive on its own, or that drugs can trigger mental illnesses, or that you should never do drugs alone, or that you should always test to check if your drugs are laced." A new paragraph begins: "We have all been failed, and I wish it wasn't made clear at your expense. I wish it didn't take your death for our school to put safe surrender policies in place. I wish you still had the rest of your life to look forward to."
The seventh page has three images along the bottom and right side of the page. Each are of Reid, one at the beach, one in a parking lot, and one along a path with two other friends. Above this is more text: "I know you were loved, and still are." A paragraph break, and then it continues: "I know that even though our school can't do much yet, students will hold vigils during period 5, and make sprawling memorials for you across lunch tables. I wish no one had to. But we do, and so I send my love & care to you, wherever you are (even if that's nowhere), and your family, and your friends. You are dearly missed and loved."
The eighth page states at the top: "You will forever be loved and missed, Reid." Below it is a black and white image of lunch tables in Reid's school, all covered in flowers and candles. Many people sit on the benches surrounding it. This was taken the day his death was announced and students held an impromptu vigil during 5th period. Below the image is simply credit to the creator: "by Xalli/Dominic, may 13 2023".
A zine in an 8-page layout.
The first page has “Oh, the HORRORS!” written near the top of the page with a subtitle underneath it saying “a zine on horror (wow) & all its forms” with the word ‘wow’ in parentheses. To the side of the title, there’s a drawing of a cat with its head twisted around and backward in a way it should not be able to move. The cat is edited to sit on a photo of a bookshelf filled with horror movie VHS tapes.
The second page reads “Everyone’s image of horror is a little bit different, and usually informed by what they fear (especially for people who don’t particularly like horror). Some people think of carnivorous bugs, some think of monsters, and some think of killers.” Along the right side of the page, there is a drawing of a wasp whose body is red, an alien head that shimmers green, blue, and purple, with a big forehead and eyes and a small mouth, and a scarab beetle that is colored teal.
The third page reads “This is why so much horror media is incredibly fucked up! Species are inherently dangerous and evil, and are out to get you. Murderers are often portrayed as queer– proposed as confused about how they embody their sexuality and gender.” Across the middle of the page, there are two images that separate this first part of the text from the second. One photo is from a poster of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and depicts Frank-n-Furter and Riff Raff. The second is the title ‘Her Body and Other Parties,’ each word cut and pasted from the cover of the book. The text then continues: “Some media, like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, fights back against these narratives by allowing queerness to be simply powerful, and murder to be just part of the fun (fictionally, of course). Even more, modern horror like Her Body and Other Parties, which does even more work to allow space for fear, dreamlike yet utterly real feelings of being lost, and casual queerness.”
The fourth page reads “American horror (in the past, though patterns have changed with 21st century horror) often takes the shape of slasher films, sci-fi/horror fusions, and the ill-defined creature feature. Let’s zoom in a little on slasher films, because to me, this is a prime example of regional fears deciding how horror is formed. Usually focusing on suburban white America, these movies tend to follow the narrative of a small town being terrorized by a killer. Of course, this is not the fear of all America. In reality, POC (and especially Black) experience constant violence and countless murders from within their own communities and from the very people who are oathbound to protect them. But this is the fear of White America– that they could ever experience targeted violence, too, however less severe.” Along the bottom of the page, there is a drawing in superhero comic style of a white man in a suit seemingly dashing away from some sort of monster chasing him.
The fifth page reads “In other regions, horror looks very different. Under the Shadow, for example, was made in Iran, and details the horrors of war and the evil & the ghosts that come with it. In many Indigenous cultures, horror stories take the shape of scary fucking forest monsters. I believe & fear those most, personally.” Near the top of the page is a screenshot from the movie Under the Shadow of a young girl, Dorsa, holding her doll and looking to the camera with a fearful or worried look. Along the right side of the page is a poster for the same movie in black and beige, depicting Dorsa and her mother, Shideh, cowering in a corner of a room, away from a window with a big ‘X’ taped across it.
The sixth page reads “These sorts of stories, about the wilderness and what it hides, are obviously most common in rural areas, with not many people there to incite fear. These always scare me most, mostly because stories are so consistent through generations and across all the world (though most cultures have their own unique creatures, too).” The text is evenly split between the top left and bottom right corners. In the top right corner, there is a gothic black and white sketch of a man in a tricorne hat & cloak on a horse pulling to a stop and looking down at a man who is cowering over his own seemingly dead horse. The ground is snowy, they are directly in front of a forest, and there are two winged creatures in the background. In the bottom left corner, there is a gothic black and white sketch of a man in a top hat riding his horse through a forest and cowering away from some sort of ghost hovering near and above him.
The seventh page reads “In recent years, with the rise of the internet, horror has began to take even more forms. Creations like Creepypasta, The Magnus Archives, and more– while different– all embody a new approach to horror, where people get attached to characters and concepts just like they would with any fiction! Scary creatures are lovable and interesting,and even cute at times! Whether this reflects a change in approach to fear as a whole is debatable, but an interesting discussion nonetheless.” In the bottom right corner, there is a simple drawing of a black humanoid creature with wings, a round head with a beak, hands with claws, and big eyes. It is facing and creeping toward the left side of the page, and we can only see its profile.
The eighth page reads “Horror can look a million different ways, and all of them are fascinating– at least to me, and hopefully to you, since I assume you read this whole zine if you’re reading this right now. Thank you for that, by the way! I hope you enjoyed it, and that you enjoy whatever horror media you consume next.” Below the text, there is a dashed line, and below that line is the text “by Xalli, may 9 2023.” Under that, there is the Instagram logo next to “desertfirelight,” the Tumblr logo next to “canineical,” and the the Neocities logo next to “tehuan.” Along the entire right side of the page is a drawing of a long, gray-yellow colored squid-shaped creature with bright, narrow yellow eyes. Instead of tentacles, its body fades into wispy sort of strings. Below that creature is a drawing of three magenta ants crawling around.
A zine in an 8-page layout.
The first page displays the title of the zine “Nature Where You stand” in big letters. Around it is a collage of plants— a mix of old photos and line-art of leaves and flowers. It is separated from the title text by a solid, squiggly line.
The second page reads “For my birthday, my uncle got me a book with a pretty cover: Root & Ritual”. The book’s title is written below and bigger than the rest of the text, and has a simple line-art drawing of a sprout on one side and a line-art drawing of some sort of grain on the other side. There are also four simple stars surrounding the book title.
The third page reads “I was interested, but also intimidated. Knowing the natural world intimately felt so… out of reach.” The words ‘out of reach’ surround a drawing of a hand reaching out to the top right corner of the page.
The fourth page reads “So I treaded with care through the book, hoping to explore a new language. I knew I felt connected to the land, but felt so lost on how to interact with it.” In the bottom right corner, there is a doodle of one side of a small, rocky hill.
The fifth page reads “When it talked about foraging, it reminded me that dandelions are edible, something that felt familiar and accessible. Suddenly, foraging wasn’t just hiking endlessly.” In the middle right section of the page, there is a small line-art drawing of a dandelion— the yellow kind, not the fluffy kind.
The sixth page reads “Once I tried one, a whole world opened up. I started seeing plants and wondering if they were edible or poisonous or maybe just gross. I tasted white clover and learned to avoid petty spurge.” On the bottom of the page is a line-art drawing of petty spurge leaves, and a white clover flower sticking out in front of the leaves.
The seventh page reads “I’d known that humans and ‘civilization’ aren’t separate from nature, and can’t be treated as such, but I’d never felt it. Nature is all around me, and I can engage with it all.” At the bottom of the page is line-art of a tuft of grass, some flowers, and cabbage sprouting from the ground.
The eighth page reads “Curiosity has bloomed, and there is so much more to learn. Try + let it bloom for you, too.” Below that, there is a dashed line, which has the words “by Xalli, 4 May 2023” underneath it. Underneath those words is the Instagram logo next to “desertfirelight,” the Neocities logo next to “tehuan,” and the Tumblr logo next to “canineical.” Next to those usernames is line-art of a little bird with a word bubble that says “Ty for reading!”
This is a collage about geocaching and the proces of searching for and finding those little boxes of trinkets-- getting to take from and add to them! From left to right, there are photos of two people with lots of rings on linking pinkies, a tree trunk that's split open slightly with a geocache hidden inside, a person standing in the middle of a meadow surrounded by trees, little geocaches made from small tubes attached to the backs of bottlecaps, a basic geocache box, a geocache that's just a tiny little glass bottle, a photo of a long, thin strip of paper with people's names being taken out of a geocache container, the same bottlecap geocaches from earlier at another angle, and a photo of a geocache bottle that was taken out of a little manhole.
This is yet another silly collage made for someone also dear to me. From left to right, there is John William Waterhouse's painting Ulysses and the Sirens with Animal Jam logos put over each of the siren's faces, a painting of Komitas by Hovhannes Zardarian, a photo of Sevak Amroyan, a photo of the members of The Longest Johns, a little piece of art of two creatures hugging, a photo of some star jasmine, a photo of magnolias, a photo of two dice with an arrow pointing to them that says "Bro, look– on the left, there’s a D20 from 1st Century Greece, and on the left, a glass D20 from Rome around 2 millennia ago (or so says Dave Hinerman in 2000). I’m sure they were used all over (I think Egyptians had some, and I know others did, too), but aren’t these so cool??", a photo of a famous state of Vahagn vishapakagh fighting a dragon by Aram Vardazaryan, and a little note in the bottom left corner that says "I love u babe!! Hope you enjoy this" plus a little heart emoticon.
A collage about body and transness using art and writing by different artists whose work I admire. Starting from the top right corner and going to the bottom right corner, there is a quote from Akwaeke Emezi's Freshwater that says "She welcomes [Saint Vincent’s] delicate masculinity arranging itself in folds inside her … It brought her a small amount of grief when she realized that he was restricted to using only a dreambody because hers was simply wrong. Her body had worked for Asụghara, but Saint Vincent would be neutered within it, with nothing weighing down between his legs, just canals lined in velveteen", a panel from @androhmeda on Tumblr's comic titled 'HELLO MY NAME IS ____________' which depicts a pair of eyes and some sparkles, a photo of a shirt that says 'WE ARE A BOY / WE ARE A GIRL', and the song lyrics "My auntie was a man now, we cool with it / The history had trickled down and made us ign'ant / My favorite cousin said he's returning the favor / And following my auntie with the same behavior // Demetrius is Mary-Ann now / He's more confident to live his plan now" from Kendrick Lamar's song Auntie Diaries.
In the middle, there is simply a piece titled 'The Abacus Snare' by Havi Peterson in which a figure destroys and rips the beads from an abacus.
In the top left, there's a copy of a poem titled 'when the trans masc tops' by silas denver melvin, which goes "our gaudy trans decadence / makes diisco of the room / your tgirl femboy body / squealing beneath my caterpillar thighs / sex is more about reinventing / than it is about pleasure / sex between us is about / repurposing words from / the old world / how a womb can be anywhere / in the body like once believed / my small farmer's hands / holding your head down against / a silk pillowcase / your hairy stomach heaving / barbie smooth legs pinned back / like butterfly wings / i want to possess you / in all the ways i was taught i couldn't / i want to excavate the teeth / still lodged inside you / let sex not be a competition / but an act of mercy: / you ask to be taken apart / & i bestow you purpose". Beside it is a piece tiitled 'sometimes you have to hold yourself' by @julykings on Tumblr, in which two bodies embrace and overlap. Below that is the text "transness is holy, transness is divinity, transness is creating your own path, transness is subverting & breaking roles, transness is expansive, trans is community, transness is home", and below that, the title of the collage: things that inhabit my body.
This is a silly collage made for someone dear to me. From left to right, there are photos of the Newsies cast holding their fists up, Matt Mercer, Saintseneca's frontman, Sisyphus 55's Youtube profile picture, a pomegranate, Sam Cooke, Haruki Murakami, a canon camera with a raven perched on it and an arrow pointing to it that says "Because of your poem!! Two Blackbirds!!", a photo of Franz Kafka, a guitar with a salmon painted on and an arrow pointing to it that says "Fish guitar :^)", and the cover of the album "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" by Bright Eyes.