i've spent a lot of time trying to define myself here & in general, and put myself into endless boxes (each time thinking it must not be a box this time, being so small and precise), and forced my behavior into rules until i abandoned projects, interests, curiosities in favor of what i felt i could do more perfectly. none of it has worked, so i'm writing a bad bio for myself to see if i can force myself free from the clay cast i've formed myself too, and maybe then i'll become something more me, whoever that is. hopefully not someone that fits into more boxes

some small things i know: my name is xalli, and i use any pronouns except they/them. i do not like being between things, but being everything strongly, which makes my life more complicated. i know i love to write, even though i do it very minimally, and i love people, even when they frustrate & exhaust & disappoint me, and i think it will be very hard for the world to make me stop loving people