this feels like writing on the first page of a new notebook. i don’t really know what to write or how to start, and i have this looming feeling that i’m going to mess it up somehow i have a feeling my posts here are going to look like i made a post that’s just a ton of twitter drafts, but oh well! i’m not very good at sticking to one topic or one… anything, really
i want to say it’s kind of a problem, but i know that’s not true, because it’s honestly something i value a lot about myself. it’s just hard. it’d be a lot easier to be just one thing and feel like i know myself. i mean— i do know myself, quite deeply actually, but being bi, polyamorous, multi-faith, multi-racial, gender-full, etc messes with your head a little. sometimes it feels like you’re just always going to be torn between endless worlds
i think that’s okay, though. i think i might not be torn, but inhabiting them all. or i’m trying to feel that way
some more stuff i want to do with this website:
- share my writing (poetry, short stories) & zines, maybe, though i wonder if that might inhibit me from publishing things
- maybe some photography of mine?
- talk about whatever comes to mind & share cool things i’m seeing. thinking of kind of a newsletter vibe
- meet new people ! i'm going to try and build in a comments section, if i can figure out how
i’m a bit giddy to have this little corner of the internet. i know if i showed my family or anything, they’d laugh at how ridiculously over the top it is to make your own website as a teen, but i think that’s good. i want out of the for-profit hellhole that is so much of social media, now. i want connection and new perspectives and passion and joy and a lot less pointless fighting
hopefully this platform and others can help me find that. i’m excited to explore this and figure shit out
sending y’all good omens & new open doors
- xalli